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We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex , a better orgasm, or a better relationship.

But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions?

Here are nine ways to protect your feelings when you're trying out casual sex — without being a jerk to yourself, or your partner.

You said that you’ve had the tendency to get into relationships with people after having sex with them.

Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the details.

No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous.

If you don’t want to get into a relationship right now, don’t do anything relationship-y!

You can go into it with the best of intentions or the most progressive of beliefs, but you can’t always prevent feelings from cropping up.

If you keep falling into relationships with people who genuinely are not good fits, you may want to reconsider your stance on casual sex.

The idea of casual sex is great, but the reality of it is often a lot harder than people realize.

Now, onto this week’s topic: How to protect your feelings when you're having casual sex. I'm not looking to jump back into another one, but I have recently started hooking up with a friend and dating other guys.

In the past, if I've liked someone enough to have sex with them, I've tended to get attached, and ended up falling in love and in relationship with them — whether I actually thought they were right for me or not.

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Or you can ask a trusted friend to remind you of your tendencies.

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