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In the years between being 20-something and 50-something, what lesbians want changes. I attended my first lesbian music festival in the fall of 2013.

Not only do we want stable and mature relationships, but we want events that cater to our lifestyles. It wasn't at all what I expected, and it left me feeling that clearly this was not the kind of event I want to attend ever again.

This conference has a tradition of paddling dragon boats and also providing lesbian-focused education and, of course, music for the women attending and focuses on women 45 and older.

But are you getting up and going out to events that cater to boomer lesbians? In my travels this summer, doing workshops from New York City to Los Angeles, I met boomer lesbian after boomer lesbian who not only wants to find a great relationship but is looking for events and activities that are meaningful to lesbians in their 40s, 50s and older.

Of course, it helps to find other lesbian baby boomers first, and therein lies the rub.

Lesbians over 40 often have little interest in events that target younger lesbians (, bar events and pool parties).

That means being a lesbian over 40 can be a very lonely gig; there just are not many places to go to meet other wiser women. Here's a list to get you started: 1) Let's start with a group that is fighting ageism and isn't afraid to say that all its members are over 60!

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